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Evgeni Plushenko gives us the finger. Johnny Weir gets his wings clipped. Brandon Mroz ruffles some feathers. Artem Borodulin celebrates Halloween early. Takahiko Kozuka hits the snooze button.

Mao Asada loses the combination. Ashley Wagner is in it to win it. Alena Leonova medals the Chicago way. Miki Ando needs some spark. Alissa Czisny should just stand up. J̼lia Sebesty̩n Рthe modern day Sonja Henie?

Qing and Jian contend. Kavaguti and Smirnov are #2 everywhere. McLaughlin and Brubaker need to phone a friend. And Davis and White get Webber grilled.

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We’re back for our third season, and this one’s got THE OLYMPICS IN IT! But first, we’ve got to get through all those pesky Grand Prix events, like the 2009 Trophée Eric Bompard.

Supposedly, a lot of people are coming out of retirement, but none of them showed up in Paris. Even Kimmie Meissner, who’s not retired, didn’t go. But here’s who did and what they did…

Brian Joubert’s hat trick. Yannick Ponsero takes off the gloves. Sergei Voronov belts one out. The Hair of Adam Rippon. Nobunari Oda (little) tramps it up. Caroline Zhang cracks some nuts. Alexe Gilles roughs it. Mao Asada chokes. Yukari Nakano pants through her program. The Unbeatable Queen, Kim Yu-Na. Tessa Virtue & Scott Moir are not a little bit country. Maria Mukhortova & Maxim Trankov learn that love means never having to say… anything to each other. The fall(ing) colors of Aliona Savchenko & Robin Szolkowy. Jessica Dubé & Bryce Davison: The Way We Snooze. And Rena Inoue & John Baldwin still haven’t retired. Plus, a little shout-out to Jenny Kirk.