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We watched the 2013 United States Figure Skating Championships on the National Broadcasting Company. Who knew they even covered skating anymore?

Pairs
The competition turns into a game of Where’s Denney and Couglin and Rockne and Parnter X? Castelli and Shnapir, Zhang and Bartholomay, and Scimeca and Knierim skate inbetween stretching sessions.

Dance
Davis and White start connecting. The Shibutanis and Hubbell and Donohue get robbed. Chock and Bates do the robbing. Kriengkrairut and Giulietti-Schmitt stump us.

NBC
NBC brings over Mike ‘Doc’ Emrick from NHL coverage because, you know, both sports use skates. Did the Peacock lose Terry Gannon’s phone number?

Ladies
Gracie Gold makes a comeback. Ashley Wagner falls to the top. Agnes Zawadzki slows it down. Courtney Hicks brings back some memories. Christina Gao flails and tangos. Mirai Nagasu under-rotates. Tori misses The Pearl and so does Caroline Zhang.

Men
Jeremy Abbott makes us cry again. Adam Rippon leaves the Blue Lagoon. Evan couldn’t make it, so Jonathan Cassar steps in. Jason Brown needs to get in a new Outfit. Ross Miner has a quad or whatever. Max Aaron revs up the backloader. Keegan Messing, Brandon Mroz, Stephen Carriere, and Armin Mahbanoozadeh all surprise us… by simply being there. Richard Dornbush has us reaching for the remote. Joshua Farris joins the seniors.

The 2013 European Figure Skating Championships were held at the same time, with a mixed bag of results.

Javier Fernández won! Carolina Kostner won. Volosozhar & Trankov still stump us. And Bobrova & Soloviev keep giving us headaches.