2013 Cup of China

Anna Pogorilaya

Anna Pogorilaya, selling it. (Photo: GOH CHAI HIN AFP/Getty Images)

The 2013 Cup of China is the third Grand Prix competition we’ve sat through this season, and we’re already bored to tears. Here are just some of the reasons why:

Savchenko & Szolkowy avoid the rats. Pang & Tong don’t retire.

Chock & Bates medal invisibly. Péchalat & Bourzat win. Bobrova & Soloviev remain unwatchable. Aldridge & Eaton bring up the rear.

Yan Han invokes Patrick Chan. Maxim Kovtun goes to the max. Takahiko Kozuka does the Sweaty Vulcan. Denis Ten didn’t finish last. Richard Dornbush cuts his hair. Florent Amodio flairs.

Anna Pogorilaya sells sea shells by the sea shore. Adelina Sotnikova tries to pull one over, glove-wise. Carolina Kostner goes out with a splat. Kanako Murakami sets our remote to “scan.” Agnes Zawadzki takes it nice and slow; well, at least, slow.

And we look forward to the NHK. Talent and eye candy. Maybe NBC will actually show some of it.

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