Category Archives: Tori’s Tantrums

Sochi 2014 – Team Figure Skating – Men’s Short

The Best of Plushenko (Robert Deutsch, USA TODAY Sports)

The Best of Plushenko (Robert Deutsch, USA TODAY Sports)

Hanyu, Evgeny & Chan in that order after the short. Looks like the judges plan on doing everything in their power to keep Plushy in this thing. Of course, Chan didn’t help himself by downgrading the combination jump. I have to believe he has his sights on the men’s title and isn’t really concerned with this stupid team event. Just do enough to get Canada into the final round. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Jeremy is trying to kill the queens. What a disaster…fall on the quad and singled the axel!

In other vomit inducing news, Evgeny’s free skate music is “The Best of Plushenko.” It consists of 6 different music selections including The Godfather, Scheherazade & Tosca. He is unreal! Seriously, how are we expected to watch this without laughing?! – Tori

Some Calm Thoughts on Tonya Harding from Tori

This never gets old.  The girl really could skate.  Her speed and power is amazing, and the opening lutz. HUGE.  Dick can barely contain himself throughout the entire skate. For one shining moment in ’91 she brought it and stuck it to the USFSA all the while skating to Wild Thing.  And look at Kristi’s face when the camera pans to her afterwards.  Bitch is trying to hold it together knowing full well that the chain smoking, beer guzzling asthmatic girl from the trailer park just ripped the gold medal from around her neck. And that’s called kicking your ass!

“Very disturbing news…”

Just saw some very disturbing news on Aunt Joyce’s site. Vocal music will be allowed in all skating disciplines beginning with the 2014-2015 season!

Ugh!

As if Sochi wasn’t going to be bad enough with the possibility of a Evgeny sighting, now we have to sit through even more crappy music. The Producer better put in an order for some heavy duty buckets, because we’re going to need them!

– Tori

Grand Prix Assignments

The US skating assignments for the Grand Prix events are now posted. Davis & White are going to be at Skate America, along with Denny & Barrett. Also, Rachel plans on boring the audience, and I’ll be able to get an up close and personal view of Caroline standing still on the ice. Looks like there will be some decent international entrants: Takahashi, Ten, Savchenko & Szolkowy.

Check out the ISU website for a complete listing of all the events.

I noticed that Johnny Weir is listed for Skate Canada and Trophee Eric Bompard. Huh?!?! He’s still skating? And, I’m not sure but this has to be a freakin’ joke or a typo because Inoue & Baldwin are listed for NHK. NO, NO, NO. Just go away already! Don’t you have a wedding to plan?!

Other disturbing participants: Brian Joubert – Leave while you’re still half way decent. Sara “Swiss Miss” Meier – Just retire and enjoy your coco. Carolina Kostner – You suck and need to hang it up. Fumie Suguri – OH HELL NO!!! Seriously?!?! NO!

The skating season is shaping up to be an interesting one or maybe that’s an infuriating one.

Keepin’ it real.
Tori